See I am all about equal rights for both and I believe for too long the pendulum has been swinging towards women. Growing up where domestic violence was commonplace, I get it – first hand. 

When your first childhood memory is of your mum’s blood on the walls. I know exactly how it is and I feel for every woman on the planet that has been through that! And it is wrong and this blog wants to acknowledge them and talk about when men are abused at the hands of women. 

Because here is the truth – men don’t have the same support and it is seen as a weakness when men claim domestic abuse, it is not a strength. They are seen as wimps who can’t control their women. They are shamed and told to ‘man up.’

Denied two things; truth and pride. 

In comparison, women are supported and seen as victors when they stand up for their safety and truth. 

Now this is not a blame game and some of you may think I am siding with the men but the truth is I stand for humanity and kindness to all – including men.

Here is what I have seen happening, and we have publicly witnessed it in the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard trial, women are abusing men emotionally and psychologically without even knowing it and it is much more common than you think. 

Let me explain what I mean. 

If a woman was to say things like 

‘typical man!’ or ‘he is bloody useless’ or ‘man up!’ 

She would not see this as emotional abuse because we have normalised this language and made it acceptable for women. In fact, it has been passed down from generation to generation and is almost being labelled as female empowerment. I have been part of and witnessed women sitting around a table ‘man bashing’ for fun. Naming and shaming their men for the lack of what they did or didn’t do! 

I am embarrassed to say I used to be one of those women until I realised something. 

You see, women speak flippantly. We say remarks off the cuff because they don’t penetrate us in the same way as a man would take it.

This is all to do with understanding the different communication methods men and women have and what would appear harmless and even said in jest to a woman can be deadly psychologically damaging for a man and lead him to numb his feelings through activities like gaming, watching tv, pornography, sex addiction, drinking, or taking drugs. All these acts done in excess are a sign of a man trying to ease his pain by numbing. It’s like a ticking time bomb! Eventually leading to men either exploding and some totally inappropriate response to the situation or straying, settling or leaving (something I go much deeper into in my book –The Roadmap to Purpose).

Ladies, we are hurting our men without even realising it by our piercing words. They cut them like daggers because of 3 reasons. This is the art of understanding men and communication. But before I reveal it I can hear some of you saying well what about us women? 

How does this help me? 

Here is how:

1. If you nail this you will have a man that is more attentive to your needs. 
2. Because it makes you feel much happier than being a moaning bitch (which is what I was and it made me miserable.)
3. When you know this you can’t go back because then you become a conscious abuser and you are guilty and can’t plead unawareness. You can’t undo what you know. 

Are these good enough reasons to grab your attention? 

Here are the three things that happen to men when we make flippant remarks about men:

1. They think absolutely logically and literally and so your words are taken as truth. 
2. If they choose you then you hold the power and a great responsibility because your words run the deepest. 
3. Criticism for men hurts as deep as neglect does for us! Full stop. 

These are just the facts. 

Now you know you can’t go back. Every time you criticise or call a man names, you now know the impact. You become an abuser. Sounds harsh but it’s the truth. 

Ladies, we have a huge responsibility to mind our words because they can be just as painful as a physical punch in the gut!