Ok, so let’s start with a question…
Would you consider Elon Musk and Tony Robbins to be extraordinarily successful businessmen?
“Elon Musk Dreaming of a Brighter Future” by jurvetson is licensed with CC BY 2.0. To view a copy of this license, visit https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/
They have a net worth of $167 Billion and $600 Million respectively, so I would say – if we are measuring success with money – then the answer is a massive YES.
We can assume that they know how to make money and run super successful businesses. Right?
So, why was it when they both went through divorces their net worth significantly dropped?
Did they stop being businessmen?
Did they get amnesia about how to make money?
Did they suddenly forget how to do business?
Or maybe, some would say, their luck ran out?
If that was the case then why did they ‘suddenly’ start making money and their balance sheets start to look healthy again once they met their current wives?
Well, the answer might lie in the fact that both talk about how their focus and productivity were massively reduced during their relationship struggles.
In this article, I am going to explain the exact concepts that I have used to take my clients from sadness to success from exhaustion to ecstasy during their own relationship challenges, as it is the exact concepts that I coach which took Elon and Tony back from almost bankrupt to billionaire and from failing to fulfilled.
The reason for the sudden ‘amnesia’ when you’re having relationship issues is because I believe there is a direct link between heart, focus and gut.
This is a phenomenon known as ‘The Heart Drainer’.
Before I go into explaining this it is important for you to understand when you have experienced The Heart Drainer in your life. Believe me, we all have.
Think back to the first time you were heartbroken. The first time your first love left you. That feeling of gut-wrenching loss. Like you would never love again. The pain was so unbearable that it was impossible to focus on anything else.
Can you recall it?
For some of you, it will be too painful even now to ‘go there’. Don’t worry I am not going to ask you to stay there, I just want you to recall it and how it made you feel.
Here is what was happening in that moment:
1. You experienced a low vibe feeling – hurt, excruciating pain, disappointment, confusion and possibly even anger.
2. This caused your heart to tear (metaphorically) – the heart is a muscle, so a broken heart is one of the most excruciatingly painful experiences. It’s 100x more painful and debilitating than a broken leg. In fact, to put it into context let’s imagine what would happen if you broke your leg – how would that impact your productivity? Massively, right.
3. The ‘heart hole’ drains all the energy out of you. It consumes all your effort and focus. One of my mentors Melanie Anne Layer once described it as a bath with no plug in it and the water just keeps draining. Or it feels like you are swimming uphill against the tide and all the effort you are putting in is not getting you anywhere. You are exhausted and seem to be going backwards. All the things you were doing before to be successful don’t seem to be working for you. Hole in the Heart = constant drain.
4. A broken heart impacts you emotionally and we know that all our decisions are made, not from fact, but feelings i.e. our emotions. So, whether we like it or not, our emotional fragility will lead to us making bad decisions.
5. If your heart muscle is broken, most of us feel a ‘low vibe’, before we become conscious of it. The law of attraction states that you attract what you are, therefore, if you are feeling a low vibe, guess what you will attract? You guessed it, low vibe things in your life. Ever wondered why when you are having a bad day, everything that can go wrong, does go wrong!? And everyone around you is also having a bad day? It is like you are attracting all the shit. We’ve all been there right!? Well, what is happening at that point of time is that your heart has been programmed because of all your past (unconscious) experiences.
So if you are focused (consciously and unconsciously) on the sadness, sorrow, loss, confusion, low vibe emotions of your broken heart, this in turn attracts the same vibe.
(By the way, if all the above sounds a bit ‘woowoo’ then check out the science-backed work of Deepak Chopra – he goes into this in a lot more detail. If you haven’t studied his work, check it out.)
Think about it like this, when you are having a good day it seems like everyone around you is also having the same experience and everything just has a way of going right. Put simply, the Law of Attraction states that you magnetize what you are. Therefore if you are heartbroken then you attract more heartbreak.
On this basis, if all our decisions are made based on feelings, heartbreak impacts our ability to focus with clarity and clouds the ability of our gut instinct to make ‘gut decisions’. We are never going to make the right decision in this state!
So, now that you are aware of the above, let’s look at the process of productivity.
Productivity is a Formula.
But, before I reveal it, it is important to understand the relationship of the moving parts of this formula.
I like to explain this with the analogy of a row of dominos.
All have to be equal in size and the space between each has to be exactly positioned, in order for the dominos to fall in sequence – to produce the domino effect.
Imagine now if the dominos were different sizes and the gaps between them were uneven. The first domino was pushed, perfectly hitting the second – which are equal in size and ideally spaced – but the gap between domino 2 and domino 3 is just a little too far, meaning the second falls flat on its face, hitting nothing. The domino effect stops, dead in its tracks.
Now you understand the power and significance of each domino.
Each element in and of itself is vital to the overall effect we are trying to create. So, let’s talk about what each domino represents and the sequence of The Productivity Formula.
Every domino represents an individual element of the FORMULA stated below:
Flow with ideas: Inspiration → when you first get your ideas.
Observe the idea: The idea → when you notice the idea come to you.
Reaction: The feeling (hunch) → you get when you are on to something.
Making the decision: The decision → to act
Uncover the plan: Formulation of a plan→
Launch the plan: Execution (including skill and experience), →
Accelerate: Sky rock your performance/productivity.
All parts are so important. If any one part is considered smaller than the other or slightly misaligned the chain of productivity is broken, in exactly the same way as in our dominio analogy above.
Ok, so now you understand The Heart Drainer (THD) and Productivity Formula (TPF) let’s put them both together.
When experiencing THD there are several dominos of TPF that can be impacted – from lack of flow to poor reactions. The lack of ability to make decisions is due to two reasons; 1) the low vibe state and 2) the drain on energy due to the THD.
The outcome is TPF having smaller, or missing, dominos which causes a break in the chain, which results in the last part of TPF never being completed or reached.
What do you think is the impact on productivity?
You guessed it, the impact is MASSIVE
Can you see why productivity, even that of some of the world’s most successful men, is screwed when any part of the domino chain is affected by the heart drainer?
Many of you have lived in this cycle for years and, while it may seem you have been super-successful in life in general, the cycle can feel like an uphill battle and any results created are still not satisfying.
Many of my multi-millionaire clients – once they discover these two concepts and heal the hole / fix the dominos – go on to have the most incredible successes that they didn’t even think was possible in all areas of their lives; work, love, relationships, with family, lovers, ex’s, children and their health.
The next question is how do you heal the hole in the heart – now that is the million-dollar question and where the work truly starts.
First, realise that the heartbreak is a battle with yourself and not her; that is the starting point of healing the hole in the heart.
Once this is healed it’s like any muscle that you tear which then becomes so much stronger. Think biceps in the gym, you have to feel the pain for it to grow.
Boy, once you experience that growth, this is when the magic in your life really starts to happen!
People start to notice your success and you start to magnetize ‘ A’ class people and partners in work and/or relationships.
The best part is that you’ll feel amazing and so fulfilled and satisfied because you have healed your heart and stopped the draining. The dominos are perfectly placed and sized for the sequence to be complete.
Welcome to Productivity city! When you arrive here, it feels like magic!