You know who you are, the repeat offenders. Married 2-3 times or have had 2 or 3 long-term relationships and they always end an absolute mess! You vow you would never ever go there again and then sure enough a few years later you are back there. In fact, sometimes you even go back to the same woman and/or wife!
Is this speaking to you? You know who you are.
Listen I am not here to name and shame. That is not what this is about. It is about stopping you from making the same mistakes. It’s about giving you the awareness of the road you keep driving your Ferrari down at high speeds blindly.
Ok, so some of the next bit is going to be brutally honest so buckle up or get off the highway and out of the driver’s seat. Basically, if you can’t take the truth stop reading now and keep doing what you are doing and getting the same results.
For the rest of you buckle up you are in for the ride of your life- Dimple just sat in the passenger seat – right next to you. Let the driving lesson begin.
The first question we need to ask ourselves is:
Who are we blaming?
Are you using language like…
‘she friggin gets under my skin?’
‘She manipulates me?’
‘she has really really hurt me!’
‘she makes me so mad!’
If this is you, check-in – Are you at cause or effect?
Who is driving your Ferrari right now and why are you letting them drive your car?
Nobody, I repeat nobody should be driving your pride and joy that you have spent years building. This is your Ferrari of life! Your heart. Your soul.
Now that we are aware of who is in the driver’s seat let’s back up a bit and ask question number 2.
Why did you get out of the driver’s seat and let them take over?
This looks like the relationship is great at the beginning – you are in complete control. She is so happy to be lead and for you to take the lead. You feel like a man. You are cruising at hyper speed on the highway. The views, the wind blowing in your hair! She looks beautiful and smiling. It’s perfect just like a movie.
Arrr! Suddenly you hit a roadblock – aka kids, family, friends, fight. You swerve the car. You are a little shaken and she feels it. She gets scared and try’s to help you feel safe by taking the wheel. You resist and say ‘it’s ok I got this babe’ And you handle it. You take a different route, not the one she would have taken but you decide. She settles in and you continue the drive! (footnote it may not be a Ferrari when you first start and that’s okay even if it’s a Fiat Panda as long as you are still in the driving seat.)