Separate – You leave and blame the wife for changing you, never learning how to solve this problem and you go on repeating this same pattern over and over again. Not realising that the common denominator is YOU.
Stray – You have an affair because your need for physical and emotional connection becomes too overwhelming for you to ignore. The animal instinct takes over.
Does this sound familiar to you?
You may have even experienced this several times already; with the same woman or different women.
All 3 S’s just put a plaster on the wound, they don’t actually heal the wound.
Now we have established what the problem is and the outcomes that most CEO’s ‘choose’ let’s talk about the 4th S.
Solve – This is the man who decided to learn and understand the best relationship. He gets an education and actually heals the wound rather than putting a plaster on it.
So what is the solution? How do you stop yourself from repeating history?
Well, first, know it is only the top 1% who are prepared to go here. If you have read this far then I want to congratulate you as you are in that top 1% just by you reading this.
Here is the solution:
Understand that she didn’t change you, you decided to change to make her happy. You can’t make her happy – only she can.
Your job is to be you and grow in your manhood. Be more of you and she will love you even more. You ‘be’ more for you first, then her and finally the relationship.
The solution is so simple, yet the execution is where the effort is required.
The next question is why do CEO’s, who are kings at work, turn into mice as soon as they walk in the door?
This is such a fascinating thing. Having worked with many high-level CEO’s (and being married to one) there is a trend that I have noticed.
CEO’s are unique beasts in their own way but very often they have shared characteristics:
Drive and tenacity beyond the vast majority of people.
Willing to dedicate the extraordinary energy, effort and time it takes to become a CEO.
Extremely high standards and rules for their perfect life.
Huge fear/frustration of failing.
These characteristics are incredible for success at work, but can create problems in relationships if you are not conscious of them and have strategies of how to ‘switch’ from being CEO to a husband / partner.
Here is what I mean…
There have been times in my marriage – at the beginning – where my man would talk to me like one of his employees or clients – this showed up via:
- His tone
- Interrupting me
- Finishing my sentences before me
- Taking charge without asking my opinion
- Overruling or undermining my decisions
Do any of these sound familiar?
See, you are not alone.
The list above will make your women/wife want to:
- Control you
- Criticise you
- Close you off
- Keep sex from you
It’s her way of taking back control.
So how do you fix it?
One simple word…
I know it is hard to believe it could be that ‘simple’, but when was the last time you really listened without interrupting her?
Do you try to get your point of view across or assume you know where she is going in the conversation and rush her to the end?
If you can master the art of listening without wanting to ‘fix the problem’ you will witness a massive change in her. Because of the change in YOU.
Think about the beginning of the relationship; how often did you ‘listen?’ Were you curious to get to know her? Of course you were!