Ok, so if you are still reading then you are a man who is a high achiever and wants it all. Great, you are in the right place!
Now I have to challenge you in this article to get you to success, so I am giving you fair warning… but I don’t believe you are afraid of this, right? In fact, I bet you expect to be challenged in life. You want to grow and you know that you’re only expanding when you are stretched.
Wait, I will be back, my super-successful man needs my attention. And here is the thing, I choose to give it not because I have too, but because I know and feel he loves me by the things he does, that I will reveal in this article.
Ok I’m back, so where was I – ahhhh yes, a story. A story of a client who would repeatedly say, ‘ there is no such thing as work-life balance, it’s impossible.’
And he would constantly utter phrases like, ‘if people say they have work-life balance they are lying.’
Now, this is a man who has 2 ex wife’s and 2 ex long term girlfriends. He clearly – in the past – has manifested exactly what he says. And he would be right. He believes it is impossible and so it is, for him.
I know what you are thinking – what is the point of this article then?
Well, I know why you might think that, but here is the point; you will literally manifest what you think, say and believe.
In this story, I am referring to a man, who has taken 7 companies to 8/9 figure exits but doesn’t believe it is possible to have a happy successful relationship at the same time as running businesses. Surely then there is no hope for the rest of us, right? But here is the thing…
He believed he would never fail in business so he didn’t.
He believed in order to succeed in business you have to fail in love.
(Now I know you guys might not like the word fail, but it is exactly that.)
High achievers, I am talking to you when I say stop fearing failure; learn from it, even learn to love it!
‘You can’t have both’, was this particular man’s mantra and so that is exactly what happened.
The point to highlight here is that you have to believe work-life balance is possible for YOU. You can’t run a race knowing you are going to lose. If that is the case, there is no point bothering getting to the starting line, let alone attempting to step towards the finish line!
Pointless. Don’t waste your time, energy, and money – God knows this mindset must have cost him millions and I am sure many of you reading this will know the figure all the ex’s have cost you both in dollars and heartache!
But if you have held those beliefs before then let this be the article that is the catalyst you need for change. A simple shift in view and perspective is all that is needed.
Believe you can and you will. It is as simple as that.
See, what happens is we start to build evidence around our beliefs that help support our hypothesis i.e. prove your point. For example, if all the friends and couples around us have failed in their relationships but are super ‘successful’ in business then we correlate the two.
We start to normalise this in our minds and almost expect it; totally disregarding the other 50% of the population that does have both.
Now, granted, there are few outstanding examples of the perfect balance (maybe the pursuit of even the ideal of balance is a fruitless task frankly!) but isn’t the ‘few outstanding examples’ analogy true for outstanding businesses too? Yet we still choose to believe that business success is possible if we only focus on those few examples!?
The second point to highlight is that you need to notice who you are measuring and comparing your success or standards by?
Is what is happening what you really want and desire?
And if you are looking for examples then it is often said that you need to get ‘Proximity to power’ – Tony Robbins who I have worked with 1-2-1 says that, so I can’t disagree, but I would say that I prefer the idea of ‘proximity to what you desire’.
Focus on what you want not want you don’t want.
This brings us onto the actionable steps to have a wife that desires you and will happily come to you when you call for them, rather than do her work! The kinda relationship where you want to come home and not sit in the car on the driveway for 30 mins bracing yourself to come into a war zone or coming home to an empty apartment wishing there was someone you love waiting for you.
Here’s the magic; you are not going to like it, but remember you are the elite 1% who are prepared to do what it takes to get the outstanding life, wife and work. Right?
- Believe you can have it all at an outstanding level.
- Focus on what you want, not what you don’t want.
- Put the effort and time into learning and understanding the business of relationships
Now, I know what you are thinking ‘this is not rocket science is it?’ and you would be right! It is not.
But the real question you need to be asking is ARE YOU IMPLEMENTING THIS IN YOUR LIFE?
Where else have you implemented this unwavering focus on success in your life?
Work? Business? Kids?
How successful are they?
Creating seemingly effortless results? Exactly.
Same principles apply to relationships. The only problem is you haven’t applied the unwavering success focus in love and that, my beautiful dear friends, is the reason you haven’t achieved a work, life, wife balance.
I know that some of you are really going to be triggered now. In some cases massively. Either sensing annoyance, frustration and possibly feeling that reading this was a waste of your time. But what I would love to ask you is how often do you dismiss information that triggers you as a waste of time?
Is it possible that it is that very same information that you need to pay attention too and think about?
I will leave that one with you!
Much love and respect, Dimple.