Living With The Beast That Is An ‘Entrepreneur’
In this article, I am going to discuss the BEAST known as ‘The Entrepreneur’.
This Beast is so unique to any other man. I actually only discovered this when I realised that my man was very different from my friend’s husbands who weren’t entrepreneurial.
I want you to know there is no judgment here. There is no wrong or right, just facts.
My friends who were married to men who worked for others didn’t have the same traits, which I will discuss later. The characters of the beast.
Slowly, as you will probably experience, our friend circles started to evolve to more entrepreneurial couples and I worked more and more with male entrepreneurs. It was then that these traits started to become apparent.
So why is it important to understand the characteristics of the beast?
What is the point?
Well, when you can fully understand these traits, it is from this observation that you can strategize intellectually. You can lead with insights into your behavior and its impact on you and your relationship. Finally allowing you to resolve, reset and review.
Let’s dive straight into what these characteristics are:
1. Tenacity and focus – the ability to believe in the impossible and do what it takes to make it work, even when everyone else around you doesn’t believe it is possible.
The light side – is achieving results against all odds.
Dark side – not knowing when to give up and spending a lot of energy and effort that can be directed towards more fruitful results.
2. Obsessive attention to order – having to have order in certain areas of their environment. This could manifest as having to have all the same hangers for your shirts and them being colour coordinated, or having to unpack the moment you step in the home from traveling.
The light side – is action action action – things get done.
Darkside – unable to let go if it isn’t perfectly in order creating inflexibility. Which can literally cause anxiety in their bodies.
3. Hyperspeed brain – often unable to hear a full sentence without interrupting or completing sentences because of their ability to reach their endpoint of the message much faster than others.
Lightside – reaching conclusions in record time.
Dark side – often makes assumptions based on their frame of the world, resulting in the other person feeling unheard and a breakdown in rapport and relationship building.
4. Misunderstood as alluff – because the way their brains work means they struggle to see different perspectives unless it is from a credible source.
Light side – they cant; be derailed easily.
Darkside – can be isolating leaving them feeling lonely.
5. Generosity – when they see potential they will help people above and beyond because they understand relationship equity and the law of reciprocity.
Light side – often pays off in energy exchange of love, loyalty, or money.
Dark side – they can be taken advantage of.
You will have noticed I have noted the light and dark side of the beast characteristics.
This concept first came to me when I started working and surrounding myself with successful entrepreneurs like my husband.
It wasn’t every man that had to have the same hangers for all his shirts and the shirts had to be buttoned all the way down! I mean how does that make sense? You have to unbutton the whole thing to get the shirt off the hanger! Or the fact that chairs or books had to be placed exactly straight they couldn’t be at an angle.
Gentlemen – inside bonus scoop from the female mind – she doesn’t realise you can’t help it – she thinks you are being ridiculous and there are more important things in life than worrying about if a chair is straight.
The reason I explain her point of view is not for you to change but for you to be aware that not everyone has those traits and to give a little grace when she doesn’t get it. Also, it is these very traits that get you to succeed in work.
However, I once heard a CEO state it is impossible to succeed and focus on work and also a relationship. I believe that is because once you are focused on something and if that something is your driver to provide £ or $ through work, you will do whatever it takes. Even if that means putting zero attention and focus on the wife!
Ouch! For some of you, that is a very hard pill to swallow. But I encourage you to sit with it!
What is the truth?
Did you invest as much energy into your marriage as you did your business?
And if you did, would you still be married?
No judgment here, just another point of view for you to consider. See when we take radical responsibility for our behavior that is when the transformation can truly happen.
Many of my multimillionaire clients come to me and say well she went off with the ‘pool guy’ and so she ended the marriage. It’s her fault and yes I am not condoning extramarital affairs and women are 3 times more likely to file for divorce than a man. Or maybe you were the one that strayed cause you weren’t getting your needs met?
Either way, if you can consider that if needs weren’t being met that also needs whereby being provided for?
See, often men believe there is only one way to provide and that is financially but that is just one way. Often the 3 other ways are overlooked and massively undervalued especially by super-focused entrepreneurs.
These three ways are:
- Focused time
- Emotional and physical support as presence
- Anticipating needs
The key gentlemen is to provide a little energy and focus on giving these three daily. I promise you, try this for one week and watch the response. I am telling you it will be worth it and could be the very thing that saves your marriage.
Roadmap to purpose
This book is for all the men in the world who are successful in life and yet still feel lost. You have it all on paper yet you long for freedom and peace. You are at the point in your life where there must be more to life.
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