I want to share something that has been prevalent as we have moved into April, and that is an overwhelming feeling of contentment. Like knowing who I am. Not really allowing what other people think or say or do to impact me. An example of this is how I am sitting here in my garden, with a blanket wrapped around me, with no makeup on, hardly brushing my hair as I write. Knowing who I am, being comfortable with who I am.
There was something that has happened and is happening this year for me, as I approach my 50th birthday. That is, for a long time I never thought I would ever reach my 50th birthday. I lost my mum at just 47 years young, and I lost two out of three aunties at 47. They all died from either breast or ovarian cancer, so highly genetic. It’s because of this that my two sisters and I decided to have preventative surgery in our 40’s. We removed healthy organs to save our lives. That turned everything around for me. Since then, the last decade has been a journey of actually living and not being in fear, and learning to heal all the stories, all the trauma and letting go. I feel like I’m finally here now, I feel like my time is now.
For those of you that don’t know human design, check it out. My human design is a 3:6, and a 6 is when someone comes into their own in the third trimester of life which starts in your 50’s. I really feel that’s where I’m at and some of the things that have helped me get to this place are realising:
- Everybody’s going to have an opinion. Really coming to terms with this, and it doesn’t mean that they’re wrong or you’re right. It means that we’re a beautiful blend of uniqueness and if I can respect your opinion even if I disagree with it, if I can also respect that you’re giving me your opinion, even when I didn’t ask for it, and learn, then there’s something good here and I magnetised that for a reason. So, what is the good in it? Am I to learn that I don’t appreciate that opinion? I don’t have to accept it and I can block it, that’s ok. I can send them with love. Or can I think about that opinion and go “do you know what, that’s a valid opinion” and it can help me shift mine a little bit or shift mine completely or I can respect it for you then that’s beneficial. There’s so much learning, when we can honour each other for our differences and our similarities, the world becomes a better place.
- I am a big deal and the reason I’m a big deal is because everything I do, I do because I care, everything I do I do because I want to make the world a better place. Everything I talk about, I’ve learned and lived through, I wouldn’t expect you to do anything I haven’t done.
- I don’t need to prove who I am. Everything that I give out is from the heart but for a long time it was also seeking approval. Whereas now I am giving because I genuinely give a shit about you, I genuinely care about you and if you can feel that, then you know that my message will land.
And so today, I share with you what’s dear in my heart, absolute gratitude for where I’m at, absolute gratitude that I get to celebrate my 50th birthday this April, absolute gratitude that I get to say I want balloons, and I want apple pie for my birthday cake because I love apple pie.
I end with a story of why I love apple pie so much. It was my seventh birthday, and at the time we lived in this two up two down, and my mum wasn’t always with us, so what do I mean by that? Well, she was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, I don’t believe she had it. I think she was super spiritually connected. She lived in a parallel universe most of the time which is where I get my psychic abilities from and my insane intuition. I think she’d just forgotten it was my birthday, and when she realised, she knocked up a birthday tea, and I remember all my friends were sitting round the dining table. She’d made these birthday sandwiches but of course she didn’t have a cake, and I remember her leaving like 8 seven year olds alone in the house and she ran to the corner shop and came back with a Mr Kiplings, I don’t whether you’ll remember these, a Mr Kiplings boxed apple pie, 7 inch boxed apple pie, and it came in this cardboard box and you opened it up and this perfect 7 inch apple pie in a silver foil with a plastic wrapping on. She opened it up and she put a candle on it, and I remember like it was yesterday, the joy in my heart because I was thinking “why does everybody have cake for their birthday? My favourite dessert is apple pie, hands down, why can’t we have an apple pie?” and she did it!
I remember it to this day and that was 43 years ago. And so, this year I’m celebrating by going away, taking my family away, for 2 nights in a massive airbnb, having the best time, I have so many things planned. The place I’ve chosen is amazing, it has a plunge pool and all things like a pizza oven and it’s on a farm and it’s just beautiful. The most beautiful thing that I said to my family, I don’t want a birthday cake; I want a big apple pie! Apple pie and custard….so that’s what I’m having! Apple pie and custard, with candles for my birthday and of course lots of balloons.
I don’t care to have a big party anymore; I care to have the people that are the nearest and dearest. I will have many celebrations that will be intimate and meaningful, where I won’t have to spread my energy, I will be fully present. That is what matters; presence, time, heart, truth and authenticity. With this in mind, I am so friggin excited to invite you along to my online 50th Birthday! I had a calling to celebrate with my online community who have followed, supported and loved me over the years as I have evolved. As a thank you, I want to share all the lessons through my 20’s, 30’s and 40’s so you can reflect on your lessons and where you want to be as you bring abundance and love into your life.
Join me on Zoom for a live, interactive celebration…wear something gold, grab a glass of your choice and become Dimpled! Tuesday 2nd May, 20.00 BST. Come and join this Facebook group so you can get all the information and enjoy the birthday build up!
I love you all so much! Hope to see you when we celebrate.